I am not an engineer, traffic or otherwise, but those cable median barriers that have been installed on the expressway look awfully uninviting and unforgiving to me. Perhaps that is part of their appeal or, more likely, their lower cost is the reason they are appearing on interstate highways.

Having had my own crash with a cement median on the expressway a number of years ago — which I described back in April in a column about hydroplaning, I wondered how I might have fared with the new cable median barriers on the expressway. I am sure my undercover police car would have fared much worse.

In my crash, which was completely my fault as I was driving too fast in a torrential shower, I hit the median wall after passing a semi. Not wanting to overcorrect or bounce back into the path of the truck, I turned into the median after I initially struck it. The driver’s side of the car was torn up and emitted a rather large shower of sparks, even in the torrential rain, but I walked away. I am not sure I would have reacted the same way with a cable barrier.

I understand the necessity of having median barriers so that traffic heading one way does not cross into oncoming lanes going the opposite way. I remember a double fatal truck crash a few years ago west of Baker Road on Interstate 94 when a westbound truck came unimpeded across the median and struck an eastbound truck. That eastbound truck had no chance or place to go because at the time of impact he had been passing another eastbound truck.

I am actually haunted going through that stretch of freeway, imagining what must have been going through that poor trucker’s mind as he saw the westbound truck driving through the median. There was nothing he could do and no place he could go to avoid the crash, but he had to see it coming for several long seconds.

Having witnessed several very serious crashes in my career, it seems like time stands still or is in extreme slow motion as they occur. There is an immediate adrenaline dump and a feeling as if what you are witnessing is not really happening. When it is over, there is a momentary calm, and then things get rather fast-paced and furious.

I had an opportunity to speak to a couple of Michigan State Police troopers the other night, and I asked them what the outcome was when cars hit the new cable median barriers on the expressway. The simplest answer they gave was the easiest — those cables make a mess.

Placed close to the shoulder like they are on I-94 west of town, they scatter a lot of debris back into the roadway and shut down the freeway more often than the cement or metal guardrail-type barriers.

Based on the research I have done on the cable barriers, they work best when there is a rather large shoulder or median before the barrier. That is, cable barriers work best — like any barrier would — when there is a greater margin for driver error. Allowing at times for what the troopers call “road runoffs” that do not necessarily mean a car impacts with anything.

Obviously wider medians would also minimize the problem of vehicle debris shredding off and landing in traffic lanes. Unfortunately we can not widen the medians on established freeways, but perhaps cement or metal guardrails would be a safer solution.

In regard to the cable median barriers, I asked the troopers the inevitable question that scares me about those cables, “Do the cables cut through cars and people like they look like they would?” One of the troopers kind of cut me off and did not really want to talk about it, replying only, “Yeah, there’s that…. I much prefer the metal guardrails attached to wood posts. They seem to be the safest.”

I had not really thought about the cable guardrails before until I was speaking to a motorcyclist last spring. He complained about the cables and called them “Motorcycle shredders.” His fear was hitting the cable and being decapitated.

To allay the motorcyclist’s fears, I cheerfully told him the story of a legendary Ann Arbor police officer I nicknamed “Like I Said Ted.” Ted is a mountain of a man and Vietnam veteran who also worked for the Saline Police Department after retiring from Ann Arbor. I have previously referred to “Like I Said Ted” as a “ Police Yeti” in a column I wrote about his run-in with a snowmobiler.

Several years ago, Ted was touring northern Michigan on his motorcycle with a group of like-minded Ann Arbor police officers. Near Gaylord, Ted straightened out a curve, ran off the road and through a barbwire fence. Ted’s longtime friend and partner “Sprocket” was riding behind him and saw the incident unfold.

Sprocket was terrified, and the first to Ted’s aid. Sprocket told me when he approached the seated but slumped Ted he thought for sure his longtime friend was dead — surely no one could survive such a crash.

Not only had Ted survived, but the barbwire had caught him on the neck and he had broken the barbwire. Talk about tough as nails, apparently Ted is tougher than barbwire as well. That was one of the reasons I always appreciated working with Ted and having him back me up on calls!

I just saw Ted the other night and he was feeling a bit under the weather. Hang in there, my friend and brother in blue!

Few of us are as tough as Ted, so my best advice is to pay attention, slow down, put your cellphone, burger or burrito down and drive carefully around those cable median barriers.

Lock it up, don’t leave it unattended, be aware and watch out for your neighbors.

Rich Kinsey is a retired Ann Arbor police detective sergeant who now blogs about crime and safety for AnnArbor.com.