While there's a bunch of things players and coaches will say over the next two days in Chicago at Big Ten media days, there are a few things that you can almost guarantee they won't say.

And if they do - it'd be the story of the week.

So in honor of the Big Ten's 11 teams, here are 11 things you likely won't hear asked or mentioned at the media meetup at the Hyatt.

1)Guaranteed wins: In every football season, some player at some school makes a guarantee that his team will win a certain game. Two years ago, frustrated following Michigan’s second-straight loss to open Lloyd Carr’s final season, Mike Hart guaranteed the Wolverines would beat Notre Dame. They did - 38-0. Before the season, though, don’t expect to hear much of that talk.

2) Questions about sex or sexual orientation: The Big Ten doesn’t have a Tim Tebow-esque player - and haven’t heard that Clay Travis is going to be in Chicago so the Big Ten’s players should be safe. Although, it could be funny to hear some of the answers/see some of the looks if this were asked.

3) That a team from Indiana will finish in the top four of the Big Ten: It just isn’t going to happen. Indiana is the worst team in the league. Purdue, with its new coaching staff and switching style of offense, is right there with them. Combined, they’ll be lucky to get to seven wins. Best football team in Indiana - besides DePauw - will be Notre Dame. Book it.

4) Anything from Terrelle Pryor or Ricky Stanzi: That’s because two of the best players in the conference will be sitting this media session out (at least there’s Juice Williams and Arrelious Benn).

5) Anything about bowl dominance, especially in the BCS: The Big Ten has been the picked-on little brother in college football over the past five years. The league has been criticized for being slow and not being able to win a BCS bowl game. All of this is mostly true. Ohio State beat Notre Dame, 34-20, in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl, but that was perhaps the best Buckeyes team of late against an Irish team that was still trying to figure out how to play well in big games under Charlie Weis (a lesson they are still working on, almost four years later).

6) Jim Tressel giving up a lot of information: The Ohio State coach - one of the best in college football - often says a lot of words but when you go back and listen to it, you realize Tressel didn’t give away much of substance at all. It’s a great trick if you can pull it off.

7) References to fly fishing or hunting: Sadly, any good chance of hearing about those things departed with former Purdue coach Joe Tiller. For once, Tiller is actually fishing instead of just wishing he was.

8) Rich Rodriguez naming a starting quarterback named at Michigan: It’s not going to happen. Not until the end of August, at least.

9) Anything unbelievably outlandish from a coach: Gone are the days of John L. Smith, Tiller and the late Terry Hoeppner - guys who would say just about anything. Instead, expect a lot of by the book statements with maybe a little bit of color. Doubtful there will be any descriptions of wizards selling snake oil this time around (It happened on signing day, but still, it’s such a good quote). But you never know, Joe Paterno could say something very entertaining. He’s the best bet.

10) That Wisconsin plans to pass a lot: The Badgers are the biggest throwback team in the conference and with uber-talented John Clay ready to replace P.J. Hill, the Badgers will stick with what has worked for them consistently (save for last season) for the past 20 years.

11) Minnesota coach Tim Brewster waxing poetic about the Metrodome: The Gophers are moving into brand spanking new TCF Bank Stadium this year. It even has a Dairy Queen club room - it'd be awesome if there were free Blizzards for everyone! - and from the artist renderings look pretty sweet. So don’t expect Brewster to miss the artificial turf hole known as the Metrodome. In fact, expect him to sound like a pumped-up real estate agent this week promoting his new digs. And all bets are off to Brewster and how often he tweets during the two-day extravaganza.

Michael Rothstein covers University of Michigan basketball for annarbor.com. He can be reached at (734) 623-2558 or at michaelrothstein@annarbor.com.