Frances Kai-Hwa Wang's son, Little Brother, at an Ann Arbor Chinese Center of Michigan Lunar New Year's celebration | photograph courtesy of Andrew Fang www.Photasa.com

My girlfriend Nina once complained when she had to have dinner with some university bigwig…on Valentine’s Day. She was indignant, incensed. It was Valentine’s Day, for goodness sake. I barely even registered her complaint, my mind completely overwhelmed by my overload of Chinese New Year’s events. I thought it might be nice to have dinner with that particular university bigwig, and I gave her a message to relay. I could not understand why she stomped off in a huff.

We were working off different calendars, I suppose.

Last year, I attended a Chinese New Year’s event on the first Sunday in February. About halfway through the evening, Little Brother, then 6, and all the high school boys he had been following, disappeared. I found them all down the hall at the information desk, watching the Super Bowl together, Little Brother’s feet swinging back and forth. I laughed to myself at the realization that this big event was scheduled on the day of the Super Bowl because no one on the organization committee — likely all immigrants who did not grow up watching football — either knew or thought it was important (No wonder so many of the non-Asian dignitaries and special guests had to leave early for “previous engagements”).

Interesting how we learn about each other through the differences in our calendars.

It took me years to train myself to look up all the dates and times of University of Michigan football games every fall so that I would not inadvertently drive right into the middle of it downtown. (Also, it is not just some Asians who are clueless about football. I was once invited to speak to an adoptive parents group in Columbus — on the weekend of the Michigan-Ohio State game in Columbus. Thank goodness someone else caught it in time, or how long would I have been driving that day?)

I think about this at other times of the year, around Ramadan and Chanukah especially, when I remember then forget then remember then forget again that many of my friends are celebrating with their families and friends. These holidays are not wired into my calendar consciousness the way, say, Christmas and Thanksgiving are. (Since my family celebrates on Christmas Eve, I also annoy a lot of people with work-related emails on Christmas Day because I am already done with Christmas when others are just beginning). I try to be sensitive to other people’s holidays and calendars, but other than wishing them a “Happy Chanukah” or “Happy Ramadan,” their special day does not really affect me like my own special days. I am not the one cooking, cleaning, buying presents, traveling, visiting relatives, attending religious services, so I can afford to forget. Sorry.

When my children were younger, I often volunteered to help organize the Valentine’s Day party for their class so that I could fold in Lunar New Year’s day, too. The color theme is all the same at least. In the fall, I also introduced other harvest festivals like the Mid-Autumn moon festival, Chusok and Diwali during the class harvest (code word for Halloween) party. Some people chafe at having to stretch their boundaries of how certain holidays are "done," but I enjoy finding the points of connection (as well as the savory potstickers to counterpoint all the pink heart-shaped cookies).

In any case, this past week was the busiest week of my year, with about a zillion Lunar New Year’s events and King School’s International Night. So if I did not answer your phone call or email, I will get back to you after the Lantern Festival.

Lunar New Year's Day was Feb. 3 this year, but the celebrations last until the Lantern Festival on Feb. 17. Based on a lunisolar calendar, Lunar New Year's always begins on the second new moon after the winter solstice and lasts until the full moon 15 days later.

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang is a second-generation Chinese American from California who now divides her time between Ann Arbor and the Big Island of Hawaii. She is an editor of IMDiversity.com Asian American Village, lead multicultural contributor for AnnArbor.com and a contributor for New America Media's Ethnoblog. She is on the Advisory Board of American Citizens for Justice. She team-teaches "Asian Pacific American History and the Law" at University of Michigan and University of Michigan Dearborn. She is a popular speaker on Asian Pacific American and multicultural issues. Check out her website at franceskaihwawang.com, her blog at franceskaihwawang.blogspot.com, and she can be reached at fkwang888@gmail.com.