Photo by Flickr user Muffett

The request for “no gifts” has become an established tagline for invites to anniversary, retirement or birthday parties for the over-50 crowd. I completely understand this when most of us are trying to downsize. We certainly don’t need anything. Our closets, drawers, basements and garages are brimming with stuff we want to get rid of.

On the other hand, I remember when my parents started telling me not to give them anything. This was tough for me. I wanted to give them something, show them how much I appreciated them. They had started giving us money as gifts so even gift certificates seemed silly.

Now that I’m in the same position of not wanting presents (the kind you have to unwrap,) I’ve been thinking of how to respond when I receive a “No Gifts Please” invitation. Here are the ideas I’ve come up with:

• Make a donation in the celebrant’s name to a charity of her/his choice.
• Give an experience — to a sporting event, a concert or a stage play.
• Offer to help with their celebration — flowers, drinks, or your physical labor in setting things up. Or perhaps you’re artistic and can create the invitation.
• Write down a memory, a story or a poem.
• Offer to take photographs or videos of the event.
• Find out what the person feels overwhelmed with in their life and offer to help out — (I asked for a “weeding party” for Mother’s Day.)

What I’ve noticed is that many people respond to the urge to give with a greeting card. Of course, this is an acceptable alternative. However, there are times when this doesn’t feel like enough. In those cases perhaps one of the above ideas might inspire you.

Although some of these take time, isn’t time the most generous gift we can give?

Susan Scott Morales is a meditation teacher, psychotherapist, published poet, novelist, and community contributor to AnnArbor.com. Tweet her @susanscottmoral, reach her at susanmmorales@yahoo.com or visit her website: susanscottmorales.com.