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Posted on Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 5:59 a.m.

Crusading Ann Arbor teen Katy Butler calls being bullied, movie's R rating blessings in disguise

By Pete Cunningham

Thumbnail image for Katy_Butler_MRM.jpg

Greenhills junior Katy Butler collected more than half a million signatures in an on-line petition to have the rating of the documentary "Bully" changed from R to PG-13.

Melanie Maxwell I AnnArbor.com

Editor's note: This story contains language considered as slurs to help explain some of the abuse Katy Butler went through.

When Katy Butler confided in a friend that she was a lesbian at the age of 12, the bullying that followed was a multifaceted and cruel torture.

There was the betrayal of being outted rather than choosing to come out. How could her best friend tell the secret it had taken Butler so much courage to share?

There was name-calling and taunting. Slurs like "fag” and “dyke” rang through the halls of her middle school in Plymouth whenever she walked through.

And, there was physical abuse. She was pushed and shoved, her hand slammed inside of a locker once, breaking her finger.

It was painful. It was traumatizing. Butler’s glad it happened.

The experience shaped Butler into who she has become. Now 17 and a junior at Greenhills School in Ann Arbor, Butler is the teen voice of the nationwide anti-bullying movement. Her well-documented campaign to have the Motion Picture Association of America change its rating of the documentary “Bully” ended in triumph last Friday as the movie went from an R to PG-13 rating.

As painful as it was, Butler knows being bullied was a blessing in the worst possible disguise.

“If that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing right now,” said Butler. “I’m glad that it happened to me, and I can take it and do something good with it.”

It was the second major victory on the anti-bullying front for Butler in just five months. In November, she led a campaign to change the wording of Michigan’s new anti-bullying legislation, which originally included exceptions for those who bullied because of strong moral or religious convictions.

A petition Butler started with her friend, Carson Borbely, at Change.org to change the wording in the law garnered more than 53,300 signatures and the so-called “license to bully” language was eventually removed from the law.


The trailer for 'Bully'



Butler saw the trailer for "Bully" and was moved by the powerful stories.

“If kids just saw the trailers, it would still make them think,” Butler said. “It would still make them realize that what’s going on is a problem and there’s something we can do about it.”

But Butler didn’t want kids to just see the trailers. She was baffled by the movie’s rating. With an R rating, most of the bullies who had tormented her five years ago would today still need a parental escort to see the movie. Butler again started an online-petition with the goal to gain the same kind of steam she had in November.

She hoped for 50,000 signatures again. The petition was up to 150,000 signatures within the first week. Butler still hadn’t even seen the movie.

In just one month, the petition has garnered 523,475 signatures. An amount she described as “ridiculous,” which is a good word to describe Butler’s whirlwind of a month.

She’s been to New York, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. Butler has attended the Ellen Degeneres and Anderson (Cooper) shows more times than she’s had full days of school in March, which is zero.

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Katy Butler outside the Motion Picture Association of America in California as she delivered several boxes of signatures generated by her online petition.

Butler delivered the signed petitions personally to the MPAA and was given a special recognition award at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Media Awards.

And yes, she’s seen the movie. Seven times, actually, at various promotional events championing for the push to change the rating. She’s cried every time, even harder since meeting some of the film’s subjects.

“It’s 100 times more painful to watch now. I mean I actually know these people,” Butler said.

Meeting Kelby Johnson, a transgender teen who identifies as male, was particularly powerful because the abuse he experienced was so similar to her own.

“When I saw Kelby’s story in the movie and his mom talking, I was crying because it was so personal,” Butler said. “It hit home.”

Butler’s teachers at Greenhills have worked out ways for her to complete her assignments remotely. On the days she’s been able to attend class for at least part of the day over the past month (5) her classmates have been shocked to see she has assignments completed that they’re scrambling to finish.

“Everyone was like ‘how are you getting these things done,’” said Deano Smith, 11th-grade principal and science teacher at Greenhills. “One thing I’ve observed is kids under a lot of pressure will learn how to prioritize, and that’s what Katy’s been able to do while working for a great cause.”

Already with an impressive resume, Butler hopes to one day pursue a career working in social activism. The Greenhills faculty recognized what she could accomplish with the “Bully” campaign was more important than being stringent on an attendance policy.

“Our faculty are flexible and willing to go the extra mile to help our students achieve and pursue their goals,” said Luke Jansen, Greenhills Dean of Students for the Upper School. “What could possibly be better for Katy’s education than what she’s experienced over the past few weeks.”

Butler was in seventh grade when she first opened up about her sexual orientation to anybody. The traumatic experience that followed kept her from sharing her secret again for many years. When her parents decided to move her to Greenhills, it was because of the enormity of the high school she’d have to attend in Plymouth, not the abuse she’d already faced.

She had kept the bullying, and her homosexuality, from them. Her only solace in those days came in the comfort of playing with her younger sister, Kelly, who was 9 at the time.

She found the confines of the small, private school welcoming, but still wasn’t ready to make a leap of faith and come out to her classmates and parents until her sophomore year.

“It went so poorly in middle school. But the environment was so great at Greenhills that I decided to (come out) in my sophomore year,” Butler said.

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Katy Butler attends the 23rd Annual GLAAD Media Awards on March 24 in New York where she accepted a Special Recognition Award (presented by Weinstein Company Co-Chairman Harvey Weinstein). AP Photo | Evan Agostini

The experience was nothing like middle school. Butler was accepted and embraced by family and friends.

She had begun to be heavily involved with the Riot Youth, a youth-led safe space for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning youth and their allies” at the Neutral Zone teen center in Ann Arbor. She became a leader, using her own negative experience as her most powerful tool.

It’s that experience, she said, that laid the foundation for what she’s helped accomplish in her efforts for “Bully.”

“As she’s been reliving this horrible anguish, one thing you don’t see is anger over it,” said Katy’s father, Mike Butler. “While it was a difficult period, a mental and physical struggle, she hasn’t been angry and for that I’m very proud and happy for her.”

In the weeks since getting all of the national attention, Butler has talked to some of the people that stood by the wayside as she was bullied years ago. As her father said, she hasn’t been angry, but encouraged.

“I did have a couple contacts with kids who went to middle school with me and were like ‘I’m so sorry you went through this, I wish I had done something. What can I do to help?’ ” Butler said. “That’s incredible to hear.”

“As sad as that was then, they’re willing to do something now and that’s great,” Butler said.

A group she hasn’t heard from is the ones she couldn’t avoid five years ago: her bullies. She hopes they’re getting the message, too.

“There is a reason why they’re doing it. Most likely at some point in their lives they were the people who were being bullied,” Butler said, recalling a point in the movie when one of the subjects, Alex Libby, says he wants to one day be a bully. “We have to start there, with the kids who are being bullied because those kids can turn into bullies.”

Butler will continue in the anti-bullying fight. She'll help make sure the movie and the accompanying tools director Lee Hirsch has provided for educators gets into schools, and will soon work with national anti-bullying legislature in Washington.

"Bully" is currently in limited release; it expands somewhat this week and is scheduled to open April 20 at the State Theatre in Ann Arbor and everywhere else.

The movie will likely far exceed even the most optimistic of projections prior to Butler’s efforts. Her campaign to change the movie’s rating has brought it more national attention than the best marketing strategy ever could.

So in a way, the MPAA’s initial R rating might be one of the best things Butler could have hoped for.

"It's given people a chance to stand up and say we believe in this. We want bullying to be looked at and we want to be changed in our homes, in our schools,” Butler said. "This R rating on the movie has given people a chance to (stand up) and to connect with each other."

Another blessing in disguise.

Contact Pete Cunningham at petercunningham@annarbor.com or by phone at 734-623-2561. Follow him on Twitter @petcunningham.

Comments

Candy Conklin

Sat, Apr 14, 2012 : 1:52 p.m.

Why was this on the front page of the paper that I get twice a week? I was bullied throughout school. Big deal.

A Voice of Reason

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 : 5:07 p.m.

This woman is very brave and we commend her effort. Unfortunately, she was used by the film industry to gain hype for a well deserving movie. The director/producers removed some of the profanity to get a PG-13 rating-so, in the end, she did not really accomplish her goal of changing the ratings. Instead of editing the words from the start, they decided to put up a "publicity fight" and use this poor girl. I guess if this teen did not mind being used for this purpose, that that is ok. She did get an award and got to wear a fancy dress. In the end, the movie will get seen and that is the point. I guess I must have missed the article on the PG-13 rating and the directors editing the words.

hmsp

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 : 1:36 a.m.

@Basic Bob: You ask, "but why is it necessary to link sexual orientation and bullying?" I don't see anyone here finding it "necessary," but, as you yourself say, "LGBT kids get bullied more than they should." It's just that the bullied person who decided to launch this campaign happened to belong to a demographic that you yourself acknowledge gets "bullied more than they should." So what, exactly, is your question, since you have answered it yourself quite articulately? And yes, it is true that the movie talks about boys who were bullied because they were perceived as effeminate. Perhaps you would like to make a movie about boys who were bullied because they were quarterbacks? Go for it, then! The fact of the matter is that the demographic that is most at risk of being bullied happens to be boys who are smaller, geekier, or more effeminate than average. Girls who present as being masculine, or are openly gay, whether they present as masculine or not, have it a bit easier, but only a bit. Plenty of the "geeks" are not gay, but since they don't fit the manly, quarterback mold, they get called fags, queers, etc. So although homosexuality might not have anything to do with some of the people being bullied, the language of homophobia is the lingua franca for bullies. It's impossible to make a movie about bullying without talking about those segments of the population that are most at risk of being bullied, plain and simple.

Basic Bob

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 : 4:15 a.m.

@hmsp, There are many factors that make children (and adults) victims of bullying. Have you ever witnessed someone being bullied for belonging to a different religion? Having a different skin or hair color? For having a physical deformity? I wouldn't conclude that any of these victims were LGBT, just because they are not quarterbacks.

hmsp

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 : 1 a.m.

Interesting that every thread on this subject includes a few really angry posts. I have not been able to discern what, exactly, these commenters are angry about, though — is there really a large support group that worries about the poor, vulnerable MPAA being bullied? Somehow, I don't think so. This bizarre accusation that Katy is engaging in bullying behavior keeps coming up in these angry posts, and they have a distinct "ditto" feel to them. Does anyone out there know if one of the usual talk-radio suspects came up with this bizarre attack, and we are just experiencing the trickle-down here at aa.com?

ombudsman

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 6:09 p.m.

the title of this article is horrible

Basic Bob

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:12 p.m.

I do understand that LGBT kids get bullied more than they should, but why is it necessary to link sexual orientation (excuse me if that the wrong term) and bullying? I would have to believe that the majority of people who are bullied are - you know - the majority.

Steve in MI

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 8:01 p.m.

Ask the bullies. In Michigan, "Christian" groups led the opposition to state-level anti-bullying policies in recent years. Bullying exists in many forms, with many types of victims. But one of the key points in recent culture wars has been whether the church kids have a God-given right to abuse the gay kids. Katy's bold advocacy hits at the heart of this particular slice of the situation.

Lovaduck

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:50 p.m.

Not necessarily! I really believe there IS a connection. Boys who appear effeminate or "girly" even if they are not gay, are often the targets of bullying. I think there is in puberty time males, in particular, a possibly socio-biologically rooted fear of the feminine and the need to bully those who are different in that way. But, Basic, you're right that that is not the ONLY source of cruelty and bullying--I just think it is an important psychological component in much, though not all, bullying.

Dog Guy

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:07 p.m.

The comments here confirm that Bully is classic agitprop. My special thanks to Aardvark in this regard.

dotdash

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:23 p.m.

Odd to respond politically to a social and education issue that involves primarily the suffering of children.

Anthony Clark

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:07 p.m.

What an awesome young lady! You are my hero, Katy. I have no doubt you will do great things with your life.

Aardvark

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 3:31 p.m.

Way to go, Katy! As a long time public school educator, I am convinced that most bullies act out of a need to belong and peer pressure rather than a true urge to torment. Also, bullies are often unaware of the devastating harm that they cause. Your movie addresses both of these areas. The school culture can and will be changed through courageous action such as yours. I am especially pleased that the movie rating was changed to include younger children, since it is especially important to reach kids as early as possible. Thanks for your important work!

lumberg48108

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 3:09 p.m.

so is this story about her or about bullying or about a movie about bullying that few will see? and tell me again, why this is news and courageous and all the other stuff I read in comments section

ThaKillaBee

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 : 7:20 p.m.

Is that directed at me or some imaginary figurehead? If me, I don't have children. Again, if you're uninterested in the "non-stop news" that this web site offers, there are many others that might interest you.

lumberg48108

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:51 p.m.

but what is the campaign about? getting the rating for a movie changed? this is really worthy of non-stop news stories? this is just the trophy generation creating a cause out of thin air and other trophy generation parents needing to validate her behavior as heroric i got NEWS for you - not everything your kid does is worthy of praise and adulation --- they already have enough self esteem and with stories like this, who can blame them?

ThaKillaBee

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 3:33 p.m.

It's extraordinary because the person leading the campaign is a 17-year old high school student. That's it. If that's not edge-of-your-seat enough for you, there are other web sites you can read.

JDed

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 1:51 p.m.

About the movie: Did anyone see South Park last night? If it is really a movie that "every person should see", why not release it on YouTube for free?

thecompound

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 4:04 p.m.

You beat me to it, lol

Dog Guy

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 1:47 p.m.

Does this mean that a rich and powerful gang of bullies have bullied their Bully movie into the public schools to bully those students who do not agree with them?

dotdash

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 2:23 p.m.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Could you clarify? Who are the rich and powerful gang of bullies, exactly? You refer to students who disagree that bullying has negative consequences -- are you sure this is a reasonable assumption?

HeimerBoodle

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 1:11 p.m.

This young woman is an inspiration - I admire and applaud her courage and determination. Here's hoping that she prompts at least some of the bullies of the world to see what real bravery and strength entail. Keep fighting the good fight Katy, I'm really proud to be able to say your are from my town!

Julia Mattucci-Clark

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 12:17 p.m.

Brava Katy!!! Thank you for your courage!

Jim Osborn

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 12:07 p.m.

Impressive, especially for someone who is "only" in high school. Changing pending legislation is even more impressive, as politicians are often held captive to special interest groups and political winds and fearful of any last minute changes. Since she is not a constituent, being under the voting age, I'm amazed that they gave her the time of day, more amazed that she accomplished her goal of changing their legislation. My own mother was killed at a dangerous railroad crossing, there are many others similar crossings and I've been less successful than Katy in motivating politicians to legislate change. I can learn from her. I wonder what she will do in the future?

dotdash

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 11:55 a.m.

What a great thing she has helped to do -- congratulations. I hope that movies like this one and caring adults everywhere can make it clear that bullying is unacceptable. While you can't police middle and high school students every second (and that is all it takes for bullying to occur), you can create an environment where everyone knows what is expected and what is out of bounds.

Carole

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 : 10:39 a.m.

I commend Katy for all that she has accomplished. My heart breaks that she had to go through so much to get where she is at. Congratulations and continues success in all your future endeavors. Kindness and acceptance is what will make the world a much better place.