Zoe and Jocelyn have set up little book forts across the table from each other at lunchtime.

Zoe has tipped over her cup as a cannon, pointed at Jocelyn's fort. This action spawns a diplomatic crisis. Verbal barrages are volleyed back and forth. In order to head off violence, the United Nations negotiator is called in from the far end of the table, where he had been about to dig into a sandwich.

Zoe complains because Jocelyn doesn't want her to shoot Jocelyn's fort down, as if not wanting one's fort shot down is an unreasonable position.

Jocelyn will barely stay at the table to discuss it; she goes straight into full-bore whining mode and stomps toward the next room.

The UN negotiator attempts to lead a discussion regarding how it's not nice to play games in which you're shooting at someone, especially if they don't want to play that kind of game.

Jocelyn agrees (“Yeah, Zoe!”) but Zoe protests on the grounds that “nothing else is fun.”

The UN negotiator has faith in the power of compromise to head off disaster. We enter discussions about making Zoe's tipped-over cup into a different kind of cannon.

A water cannon? No, no fun because water doesn't do anything to stone castle walls.

Okay, how about a heat cannon, to make the people inside sweat until they can't stand it, and come out and threaten to fire back with their ice cannon?

Zoe gets into that, and Jocelyn seems almost okay with it. Then Zoe suggests a chocolate cannon that turns the castle walls into chocolate “and then they drip down on you.” No, Jocelyn hates that idea. But now Zoe is rolling with the candy theme. She suggests a cannon that shoots cotton candy nets. Jocelyn is up and wailing again, stomping away from the table, she hates hates hates that idea, she hates nuts. Zoe's like, “What? What nuts?”

After a few tense moments, we get the negotiations back on track: Jocelyn thinks that Zoe said her cannon would shoot “cotton candy with nuts,” which admittedly is gross. Zoe clarifies that she said “nets,” not “nuts,” and Jocelyn's face relaxes from furious to mildly offended... Jocelyn: Cotton candy nets? That's so easy, you just eat your way out. Zoe: I didn't think you wanted it hard. Jocelyn: Well, I want it to be a little bit hard. Zoe: Okay, it will shoot three cotton candy nets. Jocelyn: No! That's too hard! Zoe: No, it's still easy. Jocelyn: No, it's hard. Zoe: But you said you wanted it hard. Jocelyn: I said a little bit hard. And so, after all, they settle on two cotton candy nets. The United Nations negotiator breathes a sigh of relief, thinking finally, that's over, and then Zoe tips her cup (i.e., cotton candy cannon) toward Jocelyn's castle. Jocelyn says, “No! If you want to fire that thing you have to shoot at someone else, not at me.”

And we're back where we started.