This is the only heavy lifting I ever did in high school!

photo by flickr user Chapendra

That's right. I failed two of the Ultimate Fitness Tests for Women. I am a personal trainer who is not fit enough.

I can't live with myself without being honest and real about my fitness journey. If you polled my classmates in high school and college, the phrase "in shape" would not be their immediate description. I was the band geek who liked to write and play golf. Never overweight, really, but not in shape either. I think that if they knew I was a personal trainer, they would probably be chuckling in disbelief.

My journey to become fit started just a few years ago, when I needed an outlet as a stay-at-home mom. I simply wanted to reduce stress in my life and lose a few pounds. So, I started trading childcare for free workouts at a local aerobics center. I lost weight with that and Weight Watchers and felt amazing.

I wanted to help other people to not only look better, but feel better as well. That's me. I am not a personal trainer to impress others with six pack abs (that I don't have because of my post-baby bod) or to yell at you for eating a cupcake and taking a day off. I am simply a fitness coach that wants you to enjoy exercise and healthy living.

So, when I started these fitness tests from active.com, I really didn't know how I would do. I continue to get stronger as I work out by myself or with clients, however, I am hardly ready for my closeup. I tried all of these tests, and surprised myself by passing a few of them.

...And then I tried to do a walkout and a one legged squat. Game over! I failed, and not by a little bit. I collapsed on the floor with the walkout and collapsed on the bench on the one legged squat. I started chewing my nails because I felt like a fraud. How can I be motivating to others if I can't even pass these tests?

So, I sat on these tests a bit and like Pooh Bear, I began to "think, think, think" on this dilemma. I would keep trying these moves once a week and try them over and over, hoping that I would suddenly do them. I whined a bit to friends about how I was very scared that everyone would think less of me, but I was surprised that most of my friends said that honesty makes me human, so here goes...

Here's my video of the fail. The irony? I can actually do these better, now that I have done them over and over for weeks. Enjoy the entertainment! I am real and I can admit that I have to work on some muscles. After all, if I were perfect, wouldn't that be boring?

Eva Johnson is an ACE (American Council on Exercise) certified personal trainer, who is hoping that she can pass these tests soon! She lives in chaos with her husband and two boys. To see her complete blog about how to stay sane and in shape in the real world, visit www.fitnessbyeva.com.